Mets Blob's Facebook Wall

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Tough Loss

Pirates 3 – Mets 2

Blown Opportunities

The Pirates downed the Mets tonight 3 – 2 in a game that was there for the taking. Pittsburgh starter, James McDonald, was on the ropes all night but the Mets could not put him away. 

In the 4th inning with the bases loaded, R.A. Dickey hacked at the first pitch and grounded into an inning ending double play. Dickey, who has the reputation as being a heady player, had NO BUSINESS swinging at the first pitch with Jose Reyes on deck. In the 5th inning, Jason Bay came to the plate with runners on second and third and two outs and looked at a strike three curveball. Better said, Jason Bay stood frozen as the ball cut through the heart of the plate. 
Don't call it a comeback!
 The Mets had another chance to tie the game in the 8th when Lucas Duda ripped a double down the right field line with the lightening fast Angel Pagan on first base. Surprisingly, Chip Hale gave Angel the stop sign at third base. Pagan might have been nailed at the plate but Chip Hale has to force the action in that spot. Pagan can fly and the pressure has to be put on the Pirates to make the play. Ronny Paulino looked at a third strike to end the threat.

Daniel Murphy Can’t Field
I'm gonna throw a slider to 1st...wait I'm at 1st.

Daniel Murphy played third base and booted a ball in the third inning allowing the Pirates to score 2 runs. The play was ruled as a hit but it was clearly an error. The ball was hit directly to Murphy but, for some reason, he tried to stab at it with his backhand. Mets Blob has breaking news: Daniel Murphy cannot field. No matter where the Mets play him - first base, second base, third base or the outfield - Daniel Murphy cannot field. Murph has been tearing the cover off the ball but he has no business bringing his glove to a Major League ballgame.


R.A. Dickey pitched a great game. It seems he has found his groove after his early season struggles. Keep it up R.A.

Sunday's game vs. the Pirates is at 1:35pm. We've got Capuano on the hill so we pulled out this oldie but a goodie.

Yankee Stuff for Met Fans

For Our Loyal Blobbers
Brian "What the fuck is on your head?" Cashman
Below are links to Mets Blob postings that are about or mention the Yankees. After the popularity of A-Rod wants an A-Baby, we realize you Met Blobbers love a little Yankee hating. So enjoy these links, and we promise to bring you more in the future.
Also be on the look out for the comedic shots we take at the Phillies, Brewers, Marlins, Giants, Rockies, Bud Selig, The Wilpons, and of course, our endless  NY METS tough love. No one in baseball can escape the Mets Blob!

Enjoy a bonus play of the Ike Davis movie trailer.
PS This was made the day after he got hurt. Mets Blob knows all.
"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled Met fans, yearning to breathe free." It's not always easy being a Met fan, but we are loyal. Mets Blob is a release from the frustrating, sometimes masochistic dedication we Met fans know all too well. Join us as we break down the break down of the Mets on a daily basis. Mets Blob is a comedic, satirical, rant filled romp, and we want your voice to be a part of it!

A-Rod Wants an A-Baby

A-Rod wants to have A-Rod's Baby

"So many people have told me to go fuck myself that I'm thinking of giving it a go." A-Rod

 A-Rod granted Mets Blob this exclusive interview.

Mets Blob: 
Why are you trying to become your own Baby Daddy?

Science has made me a soulless freak of nature. The technology is here for me to carry my own baby. Now, I just need to figure out how to enter myself.

Mets Blob:
What about artificial insemination?

You mean like Jeter and a turkey baster?

Mets Blob:

Listen, artificial insemination is just not an option. It must be done naturally. Being natural is what I'm all about.

Mets Blob:

Why are you laughing?

Mets Blob:
You're a walking pharmacy and a sham. All those home runs you hit in Texas aren't legit- even you admit that. Maybe because you got caught and had to, but you admitted it. Take those HR's away, and you have not passed 500 yet, forget 600.

I don't see your point. All my bats were made of wood, and wood is natural.

Mets Blob:
Since your divorce you have dated many high profile women. Madonna, Kate Hudson, and most recently, Cameron Diaz. Why not start a family with a woman?
I'm great at everything I do, and I think I would make an awesome chick. Plus, Madonna is selfish and has a bunch of leftover kids already, Cameron is getting kind of old, and Kate never wanted kids.

Mets Blob:
Kate has a kid from ex-husband Chris Robinson.

Right...yeah...but she said she never wanted another kid.

Mets Blob:
She's pregnant now.

What? No...Really?

Mets Blob:

You work for TMZ?

Mets Blob:
No, Mets Blob. How do you think your two children from your first marriage would react to you impregnating yourself?

Who cares? They're kids. Besides this wouldn't be a half brother or sister to them because it would be all me. Nothing awkward about it at all. 

Mets Blob:
Are you doing this because you feel some kind of biological, or your case Balco-logical clock ticking?

Na, it's nothing like that. It's just so many people have told me to go fuck myself that I'm thinking of giving it a go.

Shortly after talking to Mets Blob, A-Rod learned that his ailing hip would make it impossible for him to carry a child and give birth naturally. 

Friday, June 10, 2011

Gee is 7-0

The Happy Nightcap

Mets 8 – Pirates 1

Dillon Gee dominated the Pirates tonight stretching his record to 7-0.
Gee was supported by 13 hits from the Mets line drive obsessed lineup. Without David Wright, the Mets seem to be following the lead of Jose Reyes who has been a hitting machine. Of course, the Mets will have to get power from somewhere as the season proceeds, but right now their machine gun attack is a blast to watch.

Terry vs. Jerry: One letter seems to make a huge difference.
Mets Blob also must commend what Terry Collins has accomplished so far. He has changed the hang dog loser mentality of the Mets. Under Jerry Manual everything was, "Let's wait and see." With Terry it's, "Let's win this game today." To Terry the glass is half full, while Jerry would wait for someone to fill the glass for him.

This shift in team psyche would have been tricky to pull off this year without all the injuries and distractions:
• Davis & Wright on the DL till God knows when
• Pagan was out for a month
• Chris Young was great, then gone
• Jason Bay is a 100x worse than just having an off year
• The Wilpons have run the team financially into the ground and ripped them apart mentally in the press
• The endless talk of when should they trade the best players on the team. Reyes? Wright? Beltran? K-Rod?

After a 5-13 start, Terry has helped the team dig out of a big hole and even bigger let downs. He has taken every bump in the road head on, and it looks like the team is following suit. Whoever is in the lineup on any given day is a pro, and they belong there to do what they do-play hardball.

Whether just off the bus from Buffalo, or a high priced All Star, they are all players who Terry can use to help the Mets win. The Mets may not be tops in the east, win the wild card, or see October baseball, but they are once again a fighting, balls out baseball team, and that is refreshing and fun to watch.

A disoriented Jason Bay caught by Mets Blob cameras!

A disoriented Jason Bay was caught by Mets Blob cameras this morning wandering the streets of Pittsburgh dressed as his Pirates bobblehead doll. Renowned psychiatrist, Heinz Klomp, explained Bay's bizarre actions to Mets Blob. "Much like the elderly war hero has been known to don his tattered military uniform and prance about the backyard shooting his "finger gun" at imaginary Nazis; Jason Bay, too, is attempting to recapture his faded glory."

When Mets Blob asked Dr. Klomp why Bay chose to dress as the bobblehead version of himself rather than simply put on his old uniform, Klomp admitted he was unsure. "I don't know, Blob, maybe the hard plastic mask and the foot confining base of the bobblehead costume gave Jason a sense of security."

Dr. Klomp made it clear that, though he saw Bay perched high atop the Pittsburgh skyline, he did not think Jason was at risk to harm himself. "Have you not seen him bat? He sucks. This guy couldn't hit water if he fell off a bridge."

The Results on the Turner Poll

Met fans say "Let it Ride" when asked: What do you think of Justin-Turner Overdrive's future?

Here are the numbers from our Mets Blob poll:

A- "Takin' Care of Business" Justin is getting it done now but is not the real and will come back down earth.

B- "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" Justin Turner can play ball and will be here for the long term.

C- "Let it Ride" I'm still not sure about Justin. But while he is hot the Mets should keep putting him out there and see what happens.
Check out "Let it Ride" on Rockin' New Years Eve 1976! Also, check how much Fred TURNER's hair looks like Justin's. Coinciedence? Mets Blob thinks not.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Mets 4 - Brewers 1

The Happy Nightcap

Mets take the series from the team with the best home record in baseball.

Jonathan Niese gave the Brewers a steady diet of, old-school, wicked curveballs tonight going 7.2 innings - giving up just 1 run on 3 hits and striking out 8 - for the win.

K-Rod came on with 2 outs and 2 on in the 8th and got Ryan Braun out to end the threat. Braun crushed the ball but Jason Pridie - playing for Jason Bay - got a great jump on the ball and made a nice running catch.

The Mets pounded out 10 hits and scored 4 runs against Yovani Gallardo, chasing him from the game before he recorded an out in the 5th. Gallardo had won his last 6 starts, pitching to a 1.32 ERA over that span, so knocking him out of the game was no small task. The Mets totaled 11 hits for the game, without any coming off the bat of the red-hot Jose Reyes, who took a rare 0 for 5.

(Mets Blob is thrilled!)
Jason Bay rode the pine tonight and will not play tomorrow. Jason Pride played left field and contributed with a Sac-Fly RBI, a run scored and a beautiful catch. Bay is a mess and was barely audible or coherent when speaking with reporters before the game.

Beaten By a Dumb Ass

Nyjer Morgan claims he did not know it was the 9th inning when he got his walk off hit that crushed the Mets last night.

Maybe stadiums need more over the top scoreboards...not! Morgan also told Mets Blob that he forgot he was on the Brewers and wondered when the Nats got blue jerseys. "What the hell do I know?" Morgan said, "They got Abraham Sausages running around at both parks."

Mets vs. Brewers tonight @ 8:10pm

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

The Pen Blows 6-2 Lead

The Almost Happy Nightcap Foiled by Brewers Bats


NYM - Red hot Reyes smoked a 2B to start the game, but the Mets could not get him home.

MB - Braun hit a 2B with 2 outs, but Pelfrey got Fielder to ground out.

NYM - Jason "the Bust" Bay flew out - Paulino ripped a single - Evans hit into a DP.

MB - Hart lead off with an infield single - Tejada turned a great DP - Pelfrey ground ball to Reyes to end the the 2nd.

NYM - Tejada walks - Pelfrey bunts Tejada to 2B - Reyes walks - Turner flies out - Beltran grounds out.

MB - Pelfrey sits down the Brew Crew 1-2-3.

NYM - Pagan Flies out - Bay The Bust makes contact...with his leg. Hit by a pitch- Thank you, Randy Wolf, you figured out a way to get Bay on base - Paulino rips another single, Bay to 3rd - Wolf balks for the first time in his career, Bay scores - Evans K's - Tejada flies out.

MB - With 1 out Braun singles - Fielder pisses on a 3-0 non sinking, sinker for a 2 run HR - Classic Pelfrey gives back our run plus 1.


NYM - After being given the lead, Wolf sits down the Mets 1-2-3. Did you see that Mike?

MB - I guess Mike did...Pelfrey sits down the Brewers 1-2-3.

NYM - Go down 1-2-3 again. Bay K's looking to make his hitless streak 0-22.

MB - With 1 down, Mike makes a great unassisted play to get Nyjer Morgan at first, 2 down - Braun grounds out.

NYM - Paulino leads off with his 3rd hit - with 2 outs Murphy pinch hits for Pelfrey and drills the ball but is robbed by Weeks at 2nd base.

MB - Byrdak in for Pelfrey, Murphy stays in to play first - Byrdak walks Fielder, then leaves the game - Parnell comes in, strikes out Hart - McGehee singles to center - Betancourt to first on a fielder's choice to Reyes, McGehee out at 2 - Pinch hitter Kotsay flies out deep to Pagan.

NYM - Loe pitching - Reyes leads off with an infield single, making it his 30th multiple hit game of the season - Reyes steals 2nd for his 20th of the year - Turner walks - Beltran doubles, Reyes scores to tie it 2-2, Turner to 3rd - The RBI was Beltran's 35th - Pagan singles to right center, Turner scores, Beltran to 3rd, Mets up 3-2, Pagan steals 2nd - Rally killer, Bay, strikes out for the first out - For his 4th hit of the night, Ronny Paulino CRUSHES a 3 run homer! Mets up 6-2 - pitching change - Braddock pitching - Harris pinch hits as the 2nd rally killer for the 2nd out - Tejada hits a 2 out double to center - Murphy flies out.

MB - Beato walked Counsell - Weeks hits into a fielder's choice, Counsell out at 2nd - Morgan singles - Braun smokes a 2 run double to left center - The Met lead is cut to 2, Izzy replaces Beato - Izzy gives up a 2 run blast to Fielder, his 2nd HR of the game and 3rd of the series - Hart strikes out - McGehee walks -Betancourt flies out.

9th: Tied 6-6
NYM - Reyes grounds out - Turner flies out - Beltran walks - Pagan strikes out.

MB - Thayer pitching, Pridie goes in to play center - Lucroy grounds out - Counsell singles - Weeks strikes out, Counsell steals 2nd - Nyjer Morgan hits a single, Counsell scores and the Brewers win with a walk off 7-6.
This was a tough loss - Pelfrey pitched well - Ronny Paulino was 4-4 with a big HR - Braun and Fielder killed us tonight - Morgan bested Thayer, our single A journeyman reliever with Catfish Hunter's 'stache (but not his arm.) Bay the Bust was 0-3 and now drops to a .207 average.

Bernie Brewer Enters Rehab

Mets Blob Exclusive! Bernie Brewer admits to sending lewd sex-ting pics to the Chorizo Sausage. "The drinking was a factor," Brewer confessed. MLB reached out to Dr. Drew Pinsky on behalf of Bernie to see if the celebrity rehab specialist could help. Pinsky commented, "I'd be happy to help, but it won't be easy to break his level of addiction. Remember, Bernie has been known to use a giant slide to enter a swimming pool full of beer." 
When asked if the recent scandal involving NYC Congressman, Anthony Weiner, inspired his digression, Bernie frankly answered, "I have never been inspired by Weiner...Sausage is what inspires me. It always has, and I fear it always will."

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The Happy Nightcap

Mets beat Brew Crew 2-1

Capuano pitched a great game. Reyes came through big time with a go ahead 2 run triple to give the Mets a 2-1 lead. The triple was Reyes' first triple outside of Citi Field.

The pen combo of Beato, Izzy, & K-Rod shut down the Brewers for the 3 innings and held on to get the Mets and Capuano the victory.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Turner Named NL Rookie of the Month for May

Mets Blob wishes a belated congratulations to Justin-Turner Overdrive for "Takin' Care of Business" in the month of May and being named the NL Rookie of the month. The Blob loves Justin's balls and his no fear attitude. 
BACHMAN-TURNER OVERDRIVE II - The Original Album Cover • circa 1973
Celebrate Justin's award with some beefy classic rock. Watch BTO's "Takin' Care of Business" live with a special intro by The Who's Keith Moon. 

Check out the story on Justin's award @

Sunday, June 5, 2011

The Happy Nightcap

Mets 6 – Braves 4

Mets take series from Braves

It Is Never Easy

The Mets jumped all over Tim Hudson and the Braves tonight building a 6 – 0 lead. Of course, with the Mets, things are never easy - or enjoyable. Carlos Beltran drilled a ball off his right shin in the bottom of the 2nd and could not take the field in the top of the 3rd. So all Mets Blob could think about for the rest of the game was Beltran having his leg checked by whatever quack doctor the Mets sent down to the clubhouse. After the game we learned that the X-Rays did not show a break. Unfortunately, this report means nothing. Mets doctors have proven to be incompetent and any medical findings, good or bad, cannot be trusted. If Mets Blob were Carlos Beltran we would not get on the flight to Milwaukee. Carlos, hang back in NYC and go to a legitimate doctor tomorrow. If all goes well, catch up with the team Monday night or Tuesday.

R.A. Dickey was outstanding tonight, going 8 innings for the win. Jose Reyes had 2 hits, scored 2 runs and had an RBI to lead the attack. Daniel Murphy remains red hot, stroking 2 more hits. Manny Acosta came on in the 9th with a 6-1 lead and was awful, forcing Terry Collins to bring K-Rod into the game. Rodriguez had control problems and promptly gave up a 3 run HR before he put the Braves to sleep.

Bobby Valentine calls Mets Ownership on the Carpet

Bobby Valentine reminded the world tonight that the Mets play in New York. Bobby said that a team in the NY market should have at least three players making 15 million dollars per season. He sees no reason why the Mets should not keep Jose Reyes and David Wright. Valentine added that Reyes is more valuable than Carl Crawford because he plays shortstop which is a far more important position than left field. He added that even if the positions had equal value, Reyes plays shortstop better than Crawford plays left field. Mets Blob loved Bobby V. as Mets manager and we love his work on ESPN.

Does Bay Still Have a Concussion?

Jason Bay did not play tonight and seemed to have trouble understanding why he was kept out of the lineup. He said he knows the results have not been there but he thinks he has been swinging the bat better of late. Earth to Jason Bay. In your last 17 at bats you have 0 hits. Mets Blob can only assume Jason Bay’s delusional beliefs about his hitting are the result of last year’s head injury.