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Saturday, April 21, 2012

Max Patkin in for Defensive Reasons

Mets 5 - Giants 4
The Mets turned a great start by Mike Pelfrey in to an epic shit storm of defensive ineptitude that more resembled a greased monkey trying to fuck a porcupine than professional baseball. Rest in peace Max Patkin, the Mets are taking over as the new bread of baseball ass clowns. Nevertheless, the Mets pulled out a walk off win. The Blob felt the ups and downs of the emotional late innings roller coaster of today's game were best handled by Blobbers Kathy & Dan Bowden and Ray Clabrese. For those who missed it please enjoy this Mets Blob transcript. 

Kathy Bowden:
I'm not overly optimistic, but it seems to me that Pelf may have turned a corner for the better ... he's more in control this season on the mound and executing even in tight jams or when he has given up a run, definitely showing signs he may be less of a headcase .... and just after I bought stock in "Chapstick Roll-On for Hands"

Dan Bowden:
Big time Hit Teej.

Dan Bowden:
What kind of fucking, holy hell, 3 stooges, rally killing, stupid ass fucktard base running was that?!?!?!
I blame Jason. He will go to any length possible to not get an RBI.

Ray Calabrese:
Nice move pulling Pelfrey, Collins.
Like ·
Dan Bowden: likes this.

Kathy Bowden: Ray, definitely POOR decision .... AND Tejada and Kirk should both be ashamed .... I'd say I'm stunned, but I'm more pissed

Ray Calabrese: I'm typing with slit wrists.

Kathy Bowden: wrap 'em tight, you'll live to bleed another day!

Ray Calabrese: Can you believe this?

Kathy Bowden: as "thrilled" as I am that we won today ... I still want to say let's night loss SUCKED and there is no excuse

Ray Calabrese: You're a true Met fan. Nobody understands us.

Dan Bowden:
Wow, Huff makes Murphy look like Steve Sax.

Dan Bowden:
Oh Thank God.
That was like watching Jerry Lewis fight Jim Carey.
And the Game ball goes to Hairston for the game winning kick ass slide....
Oh Dear God.............does this mean PELFREY is our stopper???? The Mayans were right.

Kathy Bowden:
we pulled that bleeding rabbit out of the hat of comedic errors .... holy crap, that was ugly .....

Thank you Blobbers for making today's recap easy! Now go enjoy a Schaefer or 16 Schaefer's. It is the one beer to have when you're having more than one.


When the Mets are on the road Mike Pelfrey is forced to wear this large paper name tag. Once Mike was lost for 5 hours at the Baltimore aquarium. He was finally found obsessively cleaning a harbor seal pup he named Coco with his own tongue. This simple name tag system helps make sure the Mets don't lose Big Mike. However, the Mets have yet come up with a system that insures Big Mike won't lose. Pull it together Pelf, Coco needs you.