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Saturday, August 20, 2011

•Brewers WALK Away with Mets Comeback•

- Brewers 11 - Mets 9 -
 The Mets' piss poor pen foils a fantastic comeback. 

Chris Capuano walked into his own recipe for disaster at Citi Field this afternoon. In the first, Capuano walked Scott's brother, Jerry Hairston, to then gave up a 2 run homer to Ryan Braun. In the bottom of the 1st, Jason Bay broke his 0-20 skid with a RBI single making the score 2-1. 
In the top of the 3rd, Capuano was still fearing Jerry Hairston and walked him, followed by Braun to put 2 men on with 2 outs for Prince Fielder, who promptly drilled one into the right field seats. 

In the top of the 6th, the Brew Crew tacked on 2 more runs when Braun reached on a David Wright throwing error, setting up Yuniesky Bentacourt to hit his 10th home run of the year, making the score 7-1. Bentacourt's HR was the 21st round tripper given up by Capuano this year passing Mike Pelfrey's 19. Congrats, Chris! Clearly once again visiting teams have no problem going yard at Citi Field. 
The Mets mounted a huge rally in the bottom of the 7th that began with back to back singles by Ronny Paulino and Nick Evans. Ruben Tejada doubled in Paulino, and then a pinch- hitting Willie Harris hit a sac fly to plate Evans, making the score 7-3. Angel Pagan singled and Justin Turner walked to load the bases with one out for David Wright. Wright hit a DP ball that he beat out on the back end of the play, bringing one more run to the plate. With 2 outs and the score 7-4, Terry Collins went to pinch hitter Lucas Duda, who ripped a 2 run double to left center, for a score of 7-6. 

Bobby Parnell pitched a great 8th, and then the Mets very sweetly took the lead against K-Rod in the bottom of the 8th. With 2 outs, K-Rod walked Ruben Tejada and then a pinch-hitting Josh Thole doubled over Jerry Hairston, who misplayed the ball. Tejada scored to tie the game at 7. Angel Pagan then hit a 2 run home run off K-Rod and the Mets took lead 9-7.
Jason Isringhausen came in to close out the game, but instead completely shat the bed. Izzy could not find the plate if the game depended on it...and it did. Walking the first 2 batters, he then gave up a single to Corey Hart. With the bases loaded and still sucking like crazy, Izzy walked Mark Kotsay to make the score 9-8. Finally, Izzy was pulled and Manny Acosta was brought in and quickly got Ryan Braun to pop out. He got ahead of Prince Fielder but then gave up a single, and the game was tied, but not for long. Casey McGehee singled in 2 more runs putting the Brewers up 11-9, and that's how it ended.
Mets Blob found this game to be one of toughest and most unforgivable losses of the year. The Met fan has no joy and little to cheer for in late August of 2011. A win today after a great comeback against a first place team (not to mention our former "common law father-in-law beating" closer) would have been a fantastic feeling for fans and for the Metropolitans. It was once again not to be. Our pen is filled with head cases, wash ups, international rejects, and geriatric arms, and they crushed us today. Ironically, K-Rod would end up getting the win for the Brewers. Sometimes going from goat to hero is just a matter of leaving town and changing jerseys.

•Brew Crew Soaks Mets 6-1•

After a two plus hour rain delay, the NY Mets opened a three game series tonight against NL Central leading Milwaukee Brewers at Citi Field. Mike "The Princess" Pelfrey gave his standard 5 inning implosion performance. Normally Mets Blob would go off on yet another piss poor Big Pelf performance but at this point in the season Mets Blob is thrilled.

Mike Pelfrey is the last of a class of total head case Met pitchers. Oliver Perez and John Maine are gone, and the Blob hopes Mike Pelfrey is next. Big Mike is due for arbitration in the off season, and if we are lucky, Pelfrey will continue to write his own ticket out of Flushing. The Mets have held Pelfrey's hand long enough. The fans have heard all the excuses, and it's finally time for the kid gloves to come off and Mental Mike to take a hike.

As hard as this season has been for the fans, the one thing we have enjoyed is the energy, resiliency, and fight that Terry Collins has brought to the New York Mets. With countless injuries, All-Star trades, and a pestilent owner, the Mets continue to pick themselves up and charge forward each and every day. Mike Pelfrey has none of this spirit in his DNA, and he never will. The Mike-turation time is over. Mike Pelfrey is a 6'7", 250 pound man with the mental toughness of a toddler. At 6-10, there is no way to right the suck ship that is Mike Pelfrey and make him a competitor. Why force us to sit through another season of watching Mike sink in a sea of hand licking, jersey biting, and cap tugging? This off season will start to give us a real idea of how the Sandy Alderson era will pan out for the Mets. The team's grit in 2011 has won our hearts, and Sandy can begin to win over the love of the fans by making Big Mike disappear before Spring Training.
Prince Fielder, like many Major League hitters, is a pussy. Up 6-1 in the top of the 8th, Tim Byrdak ran a pitch inside under the hands of Fielder. The pitch backed The Plump Prince of Hot Air off the plate but in no way was vicious. After making the 3rd out on a dribbling grounder to the right side, Fielder turned back and rushed Byrdak. The two exchanged words while benches cleared to keep Fielder from eating Byrdak. The whole idea of the lefty-lefty match up is to make the batter less comfortable. That's baseball. Prince and other goons like "Big Papi" need to get off their holier-than-thy-league high horse, swing the bat, and shut their "I really, really love pie"-holes. Prince Fielder would have more room in the batter's box if he dropped 40 pounds and stopped wearing a ladies blouse as a jersey.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

•Rehab likely for Bernie Brewer•

Mets Blob Exclusive! Bernie Brewer admits to sending lewd sex-ting pics to the Chorizo Sausage. "The drinking was a factor," Brewer confessed. MLB reached out to Dr. Drew Pinsky on behalf of Bernie to see if the celebrity rehab specialist could help. Pinsky commented, "I'd be happy to help, but it won't be easy to break his level of addiction. Remember, Bernie has been known to use a giant slide to enter a swimming pool full of beer." 
When asked if the recent scandal involving NYC Congressman, Anthony Weiner, inspired his digression, Bernie frankly answered, "I have never been inspired by Weiner...Sausage is what inspires me. It always has, and I fear it always will.

•Wright Shines - Mets 7 - Padres 3•

The Happy Nightcap
The Mets downed the Padres tonight 7-1, thanks largely to David Wright. David clubbed a 3 run homer in the top of the 3rd and made an incredible play to get the Mets out of of big trouble in the bottom of the 4th. Dillon Gee was solid going 6.2 innings, giving up just one run, for his 11th win.

Gee was relieved by Tim Byrdak with 2 out and 2 on in the 7th with the Mets up 4-1. Byrdak proceeded to walk the only batter he faced to load the bases. Manny Acosta came on for Byrdak to strike out Jason Bartlett, ending the threat. This was the biggest out of the game.
The Mets tacked on three runs in the 8th to put the game out of reach. Bobby Parnell pitched a strong bottom of the 8th and Ryota Igarashi pitched like Ryota Igarashi in the bottom of the 9th - giving up 2 runs, looking as confused as ever.

David Wright's three run homer in the 3rd got the Mets an early lead tonight. His crazy play in the bottom of the 4th - diving behind third base to backhand a wicked smash, faking the throw to first and tagging out a confused Cameron Maybin - was a thing of beauty. Maybin was so convinced Wright was throwing that he ducked. Wright's game tonight had star written all over it. Mets Blob gets all over David Wright when he is not getting the job done - so it is only fair that we show him some love when he plays well.
Jason Bay - The Big Canadian bust - went 0 for 4 with 2 strikeouts. He is now 0 for his 20. 

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

•Padres Pound Mets at Petco•

Mets 1 - Padres 6
The dog days of summer bit the Mets tonight at Petco Park. Jon Niese was not at his best tonight in San Diego, but he kept the game within reach. The Mets defense was tentative and sluggish and did not do Niese any favors.
Scott Hairston played right field tonight with all the confusion and trepidation of a 14 year old boy trying to get to 3rd base for the first time. You would have no idea that Petco was once Hairston's home field. He looked about as comfortable playing the field as Lucas Duda would be as a guest on Meet The Press.
Angel Pagan also played a clueless center field. He needs to grow a pair and take control because that's what a center fielder does. Mets Blob is tired of hearing about Pagan finding a comfort zone in center. That is, for lack of a better term, bull shit. This is not rec softball, and he should have learned what a center fielder's job is as a teenager when we ALL did.
Mix in the fact that Angel has consistently made some of the weakest, most inaccurate throws the Blob has ever seen at the professional level. His arm is starting to make Johnny Damon look like Darryl Strawberry. The lack of consistency in Angel's day to day play has always been a big problem in his game. No doubt Pagan has the skills to be a top notch player, but his soft head for the game is troublesome.

Pedro Beato started the 7th inning with the Mets trailing 3-1 and quickly made the score 5-1.
Terry Collins gave Met fans a big, goofy, hand-licking treat tonight in the 7th when Mike "Met Fans Pray I Disappear for 2012 Because I am a Gutless Loon" Pelfrey came in to pitch in relief. And what a relief it was...for the Padres.
Pelfrey quickly got knocked around the yard and gave the Padres more cushin' for the Petco Park pushin', extending their lead to 6-1.
News Flash! Jason Bay still sucks. Mets Blob is very over the hard-on SNY gets for Jason Bay every time he strings together a few hits. Like they want us to feel Jason's 2 season long baseball abyss with the Mets is suddenly behind him. Bay is now on a 0-16 skid. Don't worry fans- they say he's a swell guy.
"Stay classy, Met fans."

Monday, August 15, 2011

• Izzy's 300th comes in extra inning Met win •

Mets 5 - Padres 4
R.A. Dickey had a good start tonight that was supported by good defense and offense by the Mets, but tough luck Dickey would not get the win. The Mets would have to take it to the 10th inning in San Diego to get the victory.
In the 2nd inning Lucas Duda crushed a solo HR deep into the right field seats at Petco Park. This was Duda's 5th home run since the All-Star break. Duda leads the Mets in 2nd half home runs which is great for Duda but really sad for the Mets who by mid-August do not have a player that has reached double digit home runs. Lower the left field fence Freddy!

The next power punch came from the unlikely source of Josh Thole who hit a 2 run home run to right field pushing the Mets to a 3-0 lead.

Dickey gave one run back in the 3rd but Thole singled in the top of the 4th to drive in Pridie and give the Mets a 4-1 lead.
Thole drilled starter Aaron Harang in the 6th with a liner up the middle to knock him out of the game. Thole is now 6-6 vs. Harang.
In the top of the 7th the Mets were victimized by the fat turd ump play. Duda hit and hard ground ball up the middle that was not within 40 yards of a Padre, but it nicked the pant cuff of the sloathish 2nd base umpire. David Wright scored on the hit and it should have been the Mets 5th run, but Wright was ordered back to second base. That non- 5th run would play large late in the game. The score remained 4-1 going to the bottom of the 7th.
Dickey unraveled in the 7th and the Padres got within one on a 2 run homer by Will Venable.
What a shock...The Nickel headed Bobby Parnell blew the lead in the bottom of the 8th and the Padres tied the game at 4. Ron Darling would defend Bobby in the post game but Mets Blob feels a blown lead is a blown lead and Bobby has been shaky at best - so screw Bobby.
The Mets took the lead in the top of the 10th when Jason Pridie scored on a Scott Hairston fielders choice to put the Mets up 5-4. Then Jason Isringhausen came in the bottom of the 10th and after getting into trouble reached the 300 save mark. It was not easy tonight but Isringhausen now joins John Franco and Billy Wagner as the only pitchers to reach the 300 save mark in a Met uniform and only the 23rd pitcher in MLB history. Jason chalked up his first MLB save as a Met in 1999. Congrats Jason!

Lucas Duda, Josh Thole, and Jason Pridie all had big nights at the plate to help the Mets snap a 5 game losing streak.
- SNY Douche off -

During a segment in the SNY's pre-game Kevin "Game Stopper" Burkhardt referred to Gary Apple as "G.A." causing Mets Blob to about lose his blobby mind. The guys name is GARY APPLE that's already jerked off enough for a guy doing sports in the Big Apple without calling him "G.A."! Kevin stick your pseudo clever quips up your "A.H."...I mean, asshole. In fairness compared to SNY's Kirk Gimenez, Gary Apple is Curt Gowdy and ties the shit out of a neck tie.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

•Snakes Sweep Mets•

Diamondbacks 5 - Mets 3

The Mets fell to the Diamondbacks today in Arizona 5-3  in another uninspired effort. Chris Capuano was not sharp giving up 4 runs in 6 innings and whatever hopes the Mets had to rally were dashed by Ryota Igarashi who is not a Major League pitcher. Angel Pagan had 3 hits and Lucas Duda had 2 hits including a home run but that was about it for the offense. The Mets have now dropped 5 games in a row and 11 of 14.

Ryota Igarashi came on in the bottom of the 8th to try to keep the Mets within one run. San Diego's pen was not at full strength and the Mets would have a shot to come back in the 9th if the score remained 4-3. Here is what Iggy did: Hit the first guy/Walked the next guy/Gave up a single/Walked in a run. Are you kidding me?

 Where's Warthen?
Mets Blob sees a flaw in Ryota Igarashi's wind-up that seems pretty basic. Without getting too technical, here it is: STOP LOOKING IN THE UPPER DECK AND CONCENTRATE ON THE TARGET!
Mets Blob took this pic of Igarashi earlier last season in San Diego. If the Blob can see that Iggy is staring skyward, why can't Dan Warthen and Terry Collins see it? Maybe this explains Ryota's horror show performances. This is not the Fernando Valenzuela - look to the sky before you find your target - technique either. Igarashi never picks up the target on his release.

Mets Blob has intended to meet with pitching coach Dan Warthen to point out  Igarashi's pitching flaw but personal issues have prevented the Blob from contacting Warthen. You see, Dan Warthen is a dead ringer for Mets Blob's, half kind / half crazy, Junior High Wood-shop teacher.
The Blob is afraid Mr. Warthen might be in the half crazy state of mind and scream about the unfinished napkin holder that: "Looks like it was made by a retarded baboon. You call yourself a man, Blobish? I've seen better men at a rest-stop Dairy Queen! You aren't worth a tinker's damn, Blobish."