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Saturday, August 20, 2011

•Brew Crew Soaks Mets 6-1•

After a two plus hour rain delay, the NY Mets opened a three game series tonight against NL Central leading Milwaukee Brewers at Citi Field. Mike "The Princess" Pelfrey gave his standard 5 inning implosion performance. Normally Mets Blob would go off on yet another piss poor Big Pelf performance but at this point in the season Mets Blob is thrilled.

Mike Pelfrey is the last of a class of total head case Met pitchers. Oliver Perez and John Maine are gone, and the Blob hopes Mike Pelfrey is next. Big Mike is due for arbitration in the off season, and if we are lucky, Pelfrey will continue to write his own ticket out of Flushing. The Mets have held Pelfrey's hand long enough. The fans have heard all the excuses, and it's finally time for the kid gloves to come off and Mental Mike to take a hike.

As hard as this season has been for the fans, the one thing we have enjoyed is the energy, resiliency, and fight that Terry Collins has brought to the New York Mets. With countless injuries, All-Star trades, and a pestilent owner, the Mets continue to pick themselves up and charge forward each and every day. Mike Pelfrey has none of this spirit in his DNA, and he never will. The Mike-turation time is over. Mike Pelfrey is a 6'7", 250 pound man with the mental toughness of a toddler. At 6-10, there is no way to right the suck ship that is Mike Pelfrey and make him a competitor. Why force us to sit through another season of watching Mike sink in a sea of hand licking, jersey biting, and cap tugging? This off season will start to give us a real idea of how the Sandy Alderson era will pan out for the Mets. The team's grit in 2011 has won our hearts, and Sandy can begin to win over the love of the fans by making Big Mike disappear before Spring Training.
Prince Fielder, like many Major League hitters, is a pussy. Up 6-1 in the top of the 8th, Tim Byrdak ran a pitch inside under the hands of Fielder. The pitch backed The Plump Prince of Hot Air off the plate but in no way was vicious. After making the 3rd out on a dribbling grounder to the right side, Fielder turned back and rushed Byrdak. The two exchanged words while benches cleared to keep Fielder from eating Byrdak. The whole idea of the lefty-lefty match up is to make the batter less comfortable. That's baseball. Prince and other goons like "Big Papi" need to get off their holier-than-thy-league high horse, swing the bat, and shut their "I really, really love pie"-holes. Prince Fielder would have more room in the batter's box if he dropped 40 pounds and stopped wearing a ladies blouse as a jersey.

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