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Wednesday, May 4, 2011


While in New York, San Francisco closer Brian Wilson is closing fat deals on Madison Ave. Wilson just inked a contract with Just For Men hair color to replace former Knick great, Walt "Clyde" Frazier. For years, Clyde has been Keith Hernandez's partner in calling play by play in the imaginary world of guiding middle aged men through the sport of coloring their hair to pick up some strange.

When asked how he felt about being replaced by a younger, out of town sports icon Walt said, "It's pre-ponderosis! It pops my buttons and percolates my pride, because no one was a more prodigious poon pounder than Clyde! Well, except Wilt of course. But that goes without saying." 
When asked to comment about the Wilson shake up, Keith had this to say. "Look, I'm gonna stay in the game as long as I can. You think anybody was giving me a 7 year, $126 million contract when I was 31? Goodness no. Jason Werth? Seriously? He's a decent player, but that's madness. What would Ruth's deal be today? My God, they'd have to pay him with foreign countries. Here Bambino, here's $220 mil for four years and Uruguay is now yours, do with it what you will. Between my ex-wives, the house on the Island, the new chick and a few nefarious ventures in my past I just need the coin...and I don't really care where it comes from, I really don't."

Capuano squares off against the "Cy Young freak" Tim Lincecum at 7:10pm...that hardly seems fair.


  1. Keith's best line? "Goodness no."

    As for the Babe, Yankee owner Jacob Ruppert needn't have offered Uruguay when the moola, a case of bootleg hooch, and a couple of floozies would've sealed the deal.

  2. Keith speak is an amazing thing.