SEASONED OPENER
"Mrs. Milfslut? I'm Mike Bigpelf. I'm here to fix your cable. Tell you what Mrs. Milfsult, you do a good job on Little Bigpelf and I'll give you free SNY. You'd like that now wouldn't you Mrs. Milfslut? Yeah, Mike Bigpelf knows what you like Mrs. Milfsult. Now, I'm gonna go to my van and get my rosin bag so I can dry then lick my hand obsessively all night long."
Hey Pelf, illicit sexual activity involving the use of a van is MY legacy. Find your own path to Mets' immortality.
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