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Saturday, July 16, 2011

* The Happy Nightcap - Mets 11 – Phillies 2 *

The Mets pounded Cole Hamels today, routing the Phillies 11-2. Scott Hairston led the way driving in 5 runs with two doubles off Hamels and a mammoth home run off Danys Baez. Daniel Murphy went 3 for 5 with 2 RBI’s and a long home run of his own. Jon Niese was outstanding going 7 innings for his ninth win of the season.

- Mama Alderson -
Hairston was in the lineup because Carlos Beltran was unable to play due to severe flu like symptoms. When Sandy Alderson heard the news he immediately started preparing home made chicken soup for Beltran, stating: “Only the freshest ingredients will do for my lil’ trade bait. I love Carlos like a son and I want to get him nice and healthy so I can send him packing and get a few younger and cheaper sons in return. Do you think he’ll call after I send him away? Do you think he will thank me for all I have done? No. He won’t! Mister big shot All Star is just like all the rest. After I trade them, they never keep in touch. Is one or two calls a week too much to ask for? Mister Mets Blob, would you care for some soup? It’s delicious…and powerful. I used to put it in hypodermic needles and inject it right into the rumps of my boys Canseco and McGwire. They hit the long ball. It wasn’t the juice, it was the soup that made them so strong. Steroids, schmeroids!”

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