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Monday, April 18, 2011

THE PLANE TRUTH: METS DOCTORS ARE FLYING HIGH


The Mets flew Jason Bay to NY today, from Florida, in order to determine that Jason Bay should fly back to Florida. Bay met with Terry Collins, Sandy “Khaki Pants” Alderson and Dr. Mandrake Shitforbrains from The Hospital for Especially Wrongheaded Diagnosis. Dr. Shitforbrains insists that his highly controversial technique of having injured players board flights for no reason is the wave of the future stating, “I believe that anyone who has a head or body injury should be at high altitude, getting dehydrated, eating tiny pretzels, sipping ginger ale and watching Paul Blart Mall Cop. It's really the only way to optimum health.”


Collins and Alderson, considered having Bay play a few games in AA Binghamton or AAA Buffalo but decided against it because Binghamton and Buffalo are experiencing Binghamton and Buffalo weather. Collins explains the change, “Sandy and I determined that both of those places are too cold for playing ball with a strained oblique but we knew Bay needed a few more games so we got him on a return flight to Florida as soon as possible. The doc said it was for the best.” When asked why they did not realize that it was cold in upstate NY before making Bay get on the flight north, Collins said “Do I look like Sam Champion to you? I only manage the ball team, I don’t control the sun.”

1 comment:

  1. Hey Otis Redass, good job shitting on the doc about Bay

    ReplyDelete