With the Brewers on the ropes, will Bernie hit the skids? -MBFB

With the Brewers trailing the Cardinals 3 games to 2 in the NLCS Mets Blob wonders if Bernie Brewer can handle the pressure? In a summer that has been filled with much on field success for the Brew Crew, Bernie's off the field demons have put his career in jeopardy. Please read this Mets Blob exclusive from June 8th, 2011 below.Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Bernie Brewer Enters Rehab

Mets Blob Exclusive! Bernie Brewer admits to sending lewd sex-ting pics to the Chorizo Sausage. "The drinking was a factor," Brewer confessed. MLB reached out to Dr. Drew Pinsky on behalf of Bernie to see if the celebrity rehab specialist could help. Pinsky commented, "I'd be happy to help, but it won't be easy to break his level of addiction. Remember, Bernie has been known to use a giant slide to enter a swimming pool full of beer." 
When asked if the recent scandal involving NYC Congressman, Anthony Weiner, inspired his digression, Bernie frankly answered, "I have never been inspired by Weiner...Sausage is what inspires me. It always has, and I fear it always will."

Changes One Blobbie is Mets Blob's look back at the Greatest hits of the 2011 season.

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Nelson Cruz was drafted by the Mets

Nelson Cruz was first drafted out of the Dominican Rebuplic by the NY Mets. In 2000 he was traded to the A's for the worst hitting SS in all of baseball, Jorge Velandia. Velandia posted a .000 batting average in his time with the Mets. The trade has come to be know as the "Steve Phillips is too busy banging a very talented intern-while focusing on potential of banging the other very talented intern-to notice Nelson Cruz was a very talented baseball player."


Last night after Cruz hit a 100mph Justin Verlander fast ball out of the park, Mets Blob can certainly see how Phillips would have no use for a clutch-power hitting-outfielder-with a cannon for an arm. We all now know poor Steve Phillips' decisions were clouded by the disease he was suffering from. Phillips is now an admitted sex addict. Sex addiction is an affliction that only affects rich and powerful men. Poor men can have this disorder but they are never classified as sex addicts. The classifications used for men of lower socioeconomic backgrounds are: philanderers, scumbags, horn dogs, cheaters, and home wreckers.

If the Mets had kept Nelson Cruz they would have never had to sign that hump Jason Bay.

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NY's Mixed Baseball Couples - MBFB

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Getting to 1st Base

LOVE AT FIRST WRIGHT

Statistics show that 41% of first marriages end in divorce. If that is true, these two won't make it through the national anthem and will be dividing up the nachos 50/50 by the bottom of the first. What started out as, "I will love and cherish you till death do us part," will end in, "Teixeira has a freakin' horse face, and you're a dumb twat!"

Changes One Blobbie is Mets Blob's look back at the Greatest hits of the 2011 season.

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METS BLOB is a proud part of YARD BARKER