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Thursday, May 3, 2012

ANDY PETTITTE: LYING FOR JESUS


Apparently Jesus told Andy Pettitte that lying about his conversations with Roger Clemens is okay as long as you present yourself as an "aw shucks" hick that "misremembers and stuff."

This is very similar to Jesus telling Andy to play for Houston because the team owner was a lunatic born again Christian too. Or the time Jesus told Andy to retire and spend more time with his children.

This, of course, was right before that wacky Jesus said "Andy, your children are no longer important. Get back on the mound."

Not to mention the time - excuse me - the two (admitted) times Jesus told Andy that it was ok to take performance enhancing drugs.

Mets Blob is still a little unclear though. Why did Jesus tell Andy to be BFF's with Roger Clemens in the first place? If Roger, by all accounts, is a world class douchebag; why would the son of God tell Andy to sniff the Rocket's jock for so many years?

Who knows? The Lord works in mysterious ways.

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