The Happy Nightcap
Mets 9 – Pirates 7
Tiny Tot Terry’s Tirade Tickles Team
|Enjoy Carlos while you can Met fans|
The Mets charged back from a 7-0 hole today to top the Pirates 9-7. Clearly the team was inspired by Terry Collins' spirited speech following last night’s awful loss. Mets Blob interviewed a Met - who will remain nameless - to find out what went down behind closed clubhouse doors.
“It was crazy Blob. We were all pretty down after the way we played and the coaches started yelling for us to gather round. Next thing I heard was a high pitched squeal screaming ‘You call that baseball? You call that baseball? You call that baseball? Cocksauce! That ain’t baseball. That ain’t baseball. That ain’t baseball.’ None of us in the back of the group could see real well cause the dude is really small. I guess he figured that out cause the next thing I see is Terry sitting on Dan Warthen’s shoulders and he starts yelling toward us in the back. He keeps repeating ‘That ain’t baseball. That ain’t baseball. That ain’t baseball’ rapid fire like fifty times. No shit, I looked over at Izzy and he was trying so hard not to laugh that I think he peed his pants. Plus, when he goes off on how good McCutchen is it just kills us. McCutchen just sounds dirty you know like me touching...McCutchen good, McCutchen good, I like McCutchen! Say that three times fast and try not to laugh I dare you.
Then Izzy goes out there today and throws the shit out of the ball and gets the win. Inspired? Hell yes. I thought Chris Rock was funny - but I never saw funny like last night funny. Never.”